Dude, she's so old there's a chalk outline where her reproductive organs used to be.
It's officially time to start saving up weed money for the NCAA tournament
My dinner was lean cuisine and tequila. Aaaaaand I need a boyfriend.
You started laughing mid-cry and when I asked you said, "my tears taste like vodka."
This teachers last name is pfister and she did the fisting motion to help explain how to pronounce her name. This class might be good
He screamed AMERICA, took a shot of vodka out of a Tupperware container, and then asked if he could see my tits
I was screaming out for people to gather the townsmen and the mayor so we could hang him
When I took off my jeans he became more excited about my Elmo underwear than sex but to be fair, who can blame him. They're awesome undies.
There they were doing the deed on the beach, looked like two seagulls fighting over a chicken bone.
I've never said "lesbians" so many times in a short response answer
Jk probs not coming. Tequila
My potted cactus died. I am literally less nurturing than the desert.
She always used to joke about becoming a stripper. WHO'S FUNNY NOW?!
I wasn't going to drink. Then there was alcohol so I gave that up.
I can't dude. Last time I was there, I blew the bartender in the bathroom at last call.
Randomize
