You don't get off work for this? I feel genuinely bad for you.
I'll have a beer when I get into the office. Yes, I hide beer in my work frige.
so now that i'm sober i just want to apologize for violating your back seat...... on a brighter note thank you for playing the little mermaid song "kiss the girl," really set the mood.
plus shes a stripper, ive been with strippers, if you fuck this up your penis will never forgive you
Your drinking has interfered with your drinking. I bet you could get a scholarship to a rehab. Thats pro-level
Pizza delivery...for when you need to eat your feelings for the sex you aren't having
I have whiskey and jager. There's no telling what kind of monster will emerge
legit question. can i put a condom down our garbage disposal? my rents are coming over in 20
It was rough. I have dried puke in my hair and I don't know if it's mine or from the girl I met on the ground waiting for a cab.
Banged my ex-wife last night...so I belong to that club now.
I was telling everyone at the frat that they had to try the "fantastic refreshment" that was everclear, vodka and country time
At dinner her sister yelled "he fucked me AND mom!! Up your standards hoe!!" Safe to say I ruined that family
You came home screaming the lyrics to Drunk in love, and dumped wine on me when I said you would never be Beyoncé
She has an alarming number of pictures with cat ears but the sex is amazing.
u would mumble something and then get unnecessarily loud and say random shit like 'id fuck the shit out of taylor hanson right now'
Come over. Bring drugs. My sister is making cookies. She took Valium. They should be badass cookies.
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