A 14 year old with a teardrop tattoo just tried to sell me weed. I'm in the wrong fucking neighborhood.
Jerking off has been your answer to everything tonight.
She literally called herself a shamefully bad decision. Of course I slept with her. Best bad decision ever
I swear, if he gets me a bowling ball for Christmas, I will throw it at him.
Is waterboarding an exceptable way of getting sober?
Doing shrooms is fine until you get raped by curtains
I'm just gonna plan on never getting a bf. everything I touch turns to gay
You're fucking beautiful as shit and we should have loving sex...
Batchelotette party success. I woke up on the floor in nothing but a thong, a garter and a shirt that says Just Do Me.
We had sex during an intermission, then the second period. The bruins better win. Missing a period isn't worth having sex with him
it was good, but also weird. like, i came four times and then cried weird.
Pulled over to puke on the way to sign closing papers on the house...Good sign of responsibility.
oh my god you are days, if not hours away from a dick pic. This is the day the lord has made rejoice and be glad in it
I'm a grown ass woman, I need to get fucked
I know right, I would blow him just for the satisfaction he would taste like vodka
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