if there is a rhyme for it it must be true
Masturbating after my cheeseburger. It's unavoidable.
Found him. He was passed out on the couch at the new place in a room full of burnt pizza smoke.
we boned then he told me that he had a thing for my gay roommate. worst night ever
I know I'm her Sunday school teacher. I just feel I would be saving others from a lot of headaches by telling her someday she's going to be a stripper
second attempt at shower sex: failed after the water turned orange bc of a fire up the street. this is just not meant to be
I gave up. I'm crying over my notes. Oh, ya know, just another drunk finals week
after he went down on me he said he wanted an air freshener for his car scented like my vag. i cant even.
You lit a fire in my vagina no man can extinguish.
I'm just a little concerned for your well being... and your penis too I suppose.
If someone told me one person in the department was secretly a death eater, I would suspect her, no contest.
I started screaming "MY PARENTS ARE MORMON" at a stranger and promptly proceeded to run into a wall. How do you think it went?
I told the American that we should start banging in Canada incase I get hurt and have to go to the hospital.. is that rude to say?
:(. i have vodka in a fire extinguisher. that solves all problems. except fires. it would actually make that worse.
The lady at the front desk wished you a happy hangover.
Randomize
