Riddle me this. What had unbelievable sex, and finally understands the meaning that things come better in pairs?
I hate you
We need to talk in the morning. The guy I was with just interpreted me taking off my earrings as code for "let me take off my pants."
a lot of self evaluation comes after you have to clean up a trashcan of your own vomit and condoms
if you really think there are plastic pots safe for the stove i fear for your future landlords.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
is he the 3rd person to bang everyone in our group?
She peed in the limo. She stood up and pulled up her dress and peed on the floor of the limo.
he does have a point though, watching you drink makes me never want to drink again
when the song champagne showers came on you poured some kids beer over his head... while giving him a lap dance
She kicked in my bedroom door in only high-heals with a bottle of wine, announcing it was "cock-o-clock"
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I hit a child with a fudge sickle from a moving vehicle after he flipped me off, I feel like a God. Tell no one. My partner didn't see it.
I had a drinkin contest with a person that didnt exsist, fuck withdrawl day
Hold on are you sure that we dont have another roommate?
Yes.
I may have had several rum punches and then gone to the store and used European cucumbers to prove my baton twirling prowess.
i think the people from taco bell are onto us. they had my order ready today at 3am BEFORE I even got there.
they gave me money. the money smells like weed. also they gave me weed
She’s a Vegas 8, which makes her an Oklahoma 27
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