There is a man walking 2 goats through the city.
Bonus: only one of them was on a leash.
I GOT EATEN OUT IN A MERCEDES ON A TUESDAY NIGHT. I EARNED THIS SHIT.
Miserable. My projectile vomit just woke me up from a 5.5 hour nap.
You're like the curious george of whores
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Thank you for getting us into that car accident. I have had more guys hit on me than ever before because of my broken fingers.
I drink more single than I do in relationships. Except with assface.
I hope they realize that to me "collecting their mail" is synonymous with "fucking in every room in their house, and twice in the party shower."
Putting a breathalyzer in a bar is a horrible idea. But I won
It was like getting a handjob from a frost giant
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'm glad that even though we are states apart our whorish hearts beat as one
Def just threw up beer then brushed my teeth with some randos toothpaste now back to drinkin beer
and then I said "oh, I see the price of Plan B has gone up". and the pharmacist looked at me very sadly. I was just trying to make conversation.
Just put on slippers before underwear so you know where my priorities are
HOW CAN YOU EXPECT ME TO KEEP YOUR SECRETS IF YOU KEEP ON TELLING ME THEM.
I can't believe there are people our age getting engaged and I can't even find a solid coke dealer.
Randomize