I hate your face
Would it be quicker to bike the freeway home?
No, I'm talking to this Chinese girl. Can't understand a word she's saying, but i think i caught the word vagina a few times.
The only reason I'm still around is so I can grow a huge Gandalf beard when my hair turns gray
I have a new fascination with cutting really small segments of hair off peoples heads when they're not looking.
Just saw the hottest 4 garbage men ever. They should make a calendar
I just feel like Im gonna be remembered as that one RA guy that used to sell weed
I've only been home four days and my parents' cleaning lady already wrote down the number to AA and told me she's praying for me.
Stoned, and eating Doritos, and reading about lesbians for class. This is the life.
Please write a memoir and name it "Game Boy and Dick Stuff"
I'm horny too so maybe we will both recap our regrets on Sunday
My balls are resting on a block of frozen cheese in a sealed bag
You left me a message at 3am crying because you just found out there's a Paddington Bear statue in Peru.
How much of a thot would I be if I put this pic up? On a scale of thot-ish to Queen of Thotlandia
hey sorry i didnt call i just got out of jail, so you still dtf ?
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