I need to just get drunk and eat a pot pie.
its 4th on my favorites list. 1. butt sex 2. mini skirts 3. three meat pizza rolls 4. fuck the pain away by peaches
Whats the name of the guy with his hand down my pants?
I was preparing to do my walk of shame shirtless, but then I found my sweater, wallet and keys neatly piled under a tree in the park.
I thought stuff was gonna go really bad after he filled the super-soaker with kerosene. but it all turned out pretty well.
I'm setting a 12:15 alarm for a taco bell run. Be awake or never wake up again.
Idk. Each time I ask him about double teaming a woman with Dennis Rodman he just giggles. We will never know what to believe.
We found you in the middle of the road chucking gravel because "the house was too far away".
I tore the muscle in my left calf at the gym and still spent all evening in heels. UNSTOPPABLE!
Everyone was soo nice and genuine.. Then again it coulda just been the drugs.
I just woke and boke and made apple pancakes. I'm kicking Monday in the dick.
you're now officially the 3000 mile booty call. congrats.
I should have robbed the cradle years ago. Turns out 21 year old boys can cum and still fuck me silly a minute later. My vagina feels like it just won a car from Oprah!
So random question: what's a good way to tell your brother that his Skype sex kept you awake last night? I'm not really sure how that conversation begins.
He was someone so memorable that I'd completely forgotten he'd existed up to and during the encounter
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