Just kicked a guy in his penis in order to win a dance contest on Bourbon....desperate.
I hope this doesn't change things. I feel that me being a minor made it more exciting.
He passed out on the floor and you kept hitting him in the dick and screaming "hammer of justice".
Just wondering did you put mouse traps and brownies on my porch?
I somehow ended up with a bottle of red wine in one hand and white in the other and would drink them at the same time. Ruined
Want to come over? I'm getting stoned and watching Netflix and making s'mores over a candle in my room
My liver and I thought we knew what we signed up for. We were wrong.
We had sex in the bathroom. Good sex. Toilet breaking sex.
You force fed me pizza in bed last night. That was fun
I can't sleep. My mind keeps asking "turn down for what?" but it won't accept any of my answers.
and it's like......my shirt is off and he's talking about quidditch. why.
you never un-have a 4some
She made me baby bird juul smoke to her while we were fucking
The strippers who live across the street set up a decently professional stage on their front balcony and a banner for a go fund me... I think we're gonna get a show.
Just so we're clear, drunk and naked is not appropriate attire for Thanksgiving. Do it this year and Grandma will ban you for life.
Randomize
