Words i added to my t9 today: gnomes, facebook, and chlamydia.
would you ever date a girl who drove an 89 Chrysler LeBaron? - for the record it's a convertable
it's just weird having a massive boner in the morning when you could have used it the night before.
like what am i supposed to say "im thinking of how bad that sex was"?
How the hell can the Olympic committee frown so much on weed and yet put on a show you would have to be high to actually enjoy?
What the hell did I do to get youtube to recommend a video for me called "how to increase your chances of getting pregnant"?
I could've eaten a live cat and wouldn't remember it today. That level of drunk.
being a senior sucks, I just started embracing my inner slutty college girl, and it's almost time to put her away...for like, ever. and i really like her.
But I mean, have you ever just LOOKED at how majestic penises are? They are like ivory columns of pure wonder!
I feel like im becoming the girl who only drunk texts him. I would be in the dog house, if situations like this had dog houses.
You are the tramp this city needs, but not the one it deserves.
I never thought I would have to put a band-aid on my penis.
I'm really interested in the size of his penis so report back on that one
Oh, did your mom say anything else about my butt?
Someone puked in my crockpot. Your friends can’t come over any more.
Randomize
