oh right, i forgot that not everyone has a go-to blowjob
you just broke rule number 1. If you can't lift her up don't date her
Get out of your relationship and into my pants.
His ankle bracelet only gets in the way when I'm trying to take off his pants.
I seriously just washed my dick in a public restroom. That's how dirty last night got
The last thing I remember is stabbing him with his diabetes medicine
we aren't going to have kids. there's a 50% chance that they would look like him. not worth the risk
I just imagined you going baby-crazy and trying to shove him up into your uterus. Yes, I'm aware he's 7 years old.
THIS CHICK IS LIKE SOME SORT OF HOOKER HOUDINI.
I'm 99% sure I just puked glitter. Wine drunk Mondays shouldn't be a thing.
He kept singing Happy Birthday to himself, yelling at the bouncers for not letting him in, and telling them his "father will hear of this." He was like a drunken Scottish Draco Malfoy.
It's a novelty for anyone to see a girl like me in a skirt like this milking a cow
boys just don't understand what they're missing out on.
he's missing out on my boobs looking marvelous this evening.
Thanks for fucking the skin off my dick
It was a joint effort between my vagina my feet and your hand you can't just blame that all on me
Not only is he funny, he had a REALLY big dick
He's old enough to be your father!
REALLY. BIG. DICK.
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