The human being growing inside of her was a mistake. Lets just hope the boyfriend isn't.
I dont know why people are racist. Both the mexicans and the irish gave us holidays where everyone drinks on a wednesday.
I woke up to his little sister feeling me up. I guess it's time to meet the family.
i definitely just woke up with half of a cigarette tucked underneath my balls. Last night must have been interesting
You think they'd ask my permission before turning Pajamarama into an orgy. I saw too many of my friends dicks at once the door got kicked down.
vaguely remember the bartender stopping me outside last night so he could pull the duct tape out of my hair
You were dancing around the clubbing yelling "best wingman ever" and raising your cast in the air
All I I know is that there's 2 new contacts in my phone. Drunk Backdoor and Gayass Handshake. Thanks, Jameson.
Until you wake up with a Hustler club stripper in the next room whose nipple you were coerced to lick at Snake & Jake's after breaking up a fight between an Indian and a Filipino, I don't wanna hear about your weird.
just saw a guy snowshoeing to the liqour store
was it you?
...yes
It felt like a sumo wrestler slapped me. With a wet hand. 8 times in a row.
His girlfriends signaled their approval by pulling me off of him and in turn making out with me. I think I will hang out with this group more often
that pic of me and the hulking football player sure does come in handy when creepy guys hit on me at the bar.
Just had an oven catch fire while I was balls deep. Fire department came, I did not.
Did I turn a man straight...??
Yes!
Randomize
