Also my back is semi rug burned and I'm holding you fully responsible.
I would love to give you more rug burn
If it wasnt for meatballs I would have fucking killed myself already.
Forget abc fam drinking games. Take a shot everytime Tyra says I and you'll be dead by the first commercial
Our relationship just reached the stage where i can touch her boobs while making a honking noise without getting hit in the face
surprisingly enough, it isn't that uncomfortable to have sex with a heart monitor on
There's two girls at the bar sniffing each others boobs.
yeah they are definitely having sex in that car. joe just yelled through the window telling them to do the "titanic hand print thing"
I think we got naked. I can't remember but if you have "friends" written on your ass, then we did. Because I have "best" on mine.
FALSE ALARM! I didn't piss myself, I fell asleep in the shower and then drunkingly crawled into my bed
He wanted me to strip for him. I told him that we aren't at that serious of a fuck buddy relationship yet
Dude. I've been high for so many hours now that I'm just accepting this as my new reality.
My vagina is glad I'm back at work because it needs a vacation after working all through my vacation.
I just spent the last three days trying to hook up with a dude for his pool privileges
don't worry, i'm not mad. i'm just angry. and furious. and about to set your ass on fire.
I found your missing hash cookies. Fuck you and I'm sorry but there are only 2 left. I already had the munchies.
Randomize
