I'm laying in your front yard are you home
I got my nipple pierced! I love it so much!
Well, there goes breastfeeding.
She used my dick as a microphone to sing "any way you want it" I'm in love.
I'm wearing boardshorts as underwear to work. This is bachelorhood
i think every time you texted me i responded with 'bathroom floor'
Why did you leave me a note saying 'find the canary'
Subtly mention that I'm not a lesbian. I would only go for rebecca's nipples because they're pierced and I like shiny things.
she made sit in a corner, drink nothing but water and told me she was worried about me because i picked up an irish guy at a taxi rank. says the girl who invented tequila night and fucked a guy in a park across the street from a sweet sixteenth.
Bad news. I baked you a cake and one of my fingernails is missing.
I am just saying if Clark Kent walks into your life, you fuck him
The stripper told Tom to sort his life out
Twist bend and done? Jesus that sounds like a seventh grade hand job.
I bought a mink out of the back of some guy's van on my walk home from the bar yesterday
it's a shower with the lights off kind of day
Im so sorry for peeing on your chest.
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