Swine flu. Run for my life!
It's 8:30am and I'm drinking.... this is a new low
I need to stop coming to work sober
I have sucked so much dick this week I think I am going to start sweating semen
Also on a more serious note, what says pull my hair more: straight or soft curls?
I sang Jenna happy bday in the middle of throw up hurls
well what is some mechanical horse racing with out blow involved
I just picked up a hitchhiker so karma will be on our side this weekend. Hahahahahaha
No.
I've justified worse with less. I had sex with your brother because he was wearing a nice sweater
Would you like to partake in getting high as fuck with your best friend and then proceeding to cry over the shit head guys we deal with?
we broke the bed, curtan rods, a dresser drawer, and unless I didn't notice it before, we put a hole in the wall. This is why he and I have to fuck in motels.
At least is you came to Milwaukee to visit me you'd get the best mind blowing sex of your life and free wifi. Who doesn't want free wifi!
I have a few Facebook friends I only keep around for quality control purposes on Tinder
seriously i don't trust him. he fed me a hot dog out of a crock pot and gave me moonshine dashed jager bombs.
I can’t shake the image of her gigantic black unibrow. It’s like I got a blowie from Eugene Levy
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