never play flip cup with pint glasses
That bitch is like a bad destiny's child song.
so... thinking about masturbating finally
taking the losers way out I see
Locked out of the apartment with just a box of wine way to begin the weekend.
I just used dish soap as body wash. I smell like a dishwasher exploded. isn't the end of the semester fun?
Ever since I told them the story of the sex in the canoe scandal its like I am in season
You basically tried to anal probe my passed out friend with a lamp
There are topless girls riding the lawn flamingos. I win.
College freshman give noticeably better blowjobs by the 5th week of the semester.
We are planning a drunk snapchat treasure hunt for tomorrow, and the treasure is his penis, this is a game I'm not willing to loose.
Everyone was in the walk-in getting high, and I had to be all cool. Serving soup and salads. Night manager status doesn't pay enough.
If I had a dollar for every straight boy that questioned their sexuality because of me, I would live a comfortable middle-class life.
We were wearing togas. So having sex was really easy to do without taking any clothes off.
Well the streak is over, I saw a penis today
I don't want the fire department to come out here twice in one weekend because of your god damn vape.
Randomize
