the young, male pastor of my church has a jesus fish tramp-stamp. I made him show me.
i wonder if detective benson from law and order takes those handcuffs home. i bet she does.
Just took a final in the room where I lost my virginity. I think it was god luck.
For some reason 'start yourself on fire drunk' isn't nearly as funny after last 4th of july..
... was I dreaming when we did coke off of the xbox, or did that really happen?
She came to college a virgin and left on court order. We ruined her.
I think my vagina has grown over, not unlike earring holes when not used in a long amount of time.
She dresses cool and she's mean. And she has fake boobs I feel like I can relate to her on so many levels.
nm just hungover. watching movies and roasting marshmallows in bed, over a candle to avoid life
I'm hungover during 4th grade graduation practice. I AM THEIR FUTURE.
"I'm a professor to university students" I say as I realize I have a nipple piercing that I have no memory of getting
i want george washington to fuck me as hard as he can holy shit
Accidentally made a straight guy question his sexuality again. I really gotta watch myself.
Is it wrong for me to wish my cat had arms to get me a beer?
We still on for Manwhore Monday?
Randomize