I didn't cheat on him. Cheating means finding out. I made sure he was at work first. After the guy left I got shitfaced just so nothing seemed out of the ordinary when he came home.
I wish I could get plan B off e-bay so it would be a secret and cheap.
i'm starting to get really nervous about the relationship i have with my cat
we banged on the home plate. i wasnt even aware of the significance of where we were until afterwards hahaha
This bitch flirting at the bar needs to close her legs and open up a book. I can literally feel my IQ dropping every time she bends down to show her tits.
Jealous?
Very.
i had a threesome. one of the guys used to bully me in high school too for being gay.
A talk about Arizona woman's rights politics has never turned to sex so quickly before.
I need rollerblades now
Rollerblades pick up bitches
Ah that wonderful moment when you realise the bookmark you were using in a book you lent your mum is actually a receipt from a strip club
I distinctly remember telling him "I'll suck your dick while you eat pizza"
I sang Seal's Kiss From a Rose to my quesadilla
ok so you're 100% sure this time that he isn't your ex in disguise again?
My breath smells like dick and biscuits..
He is farting the alphabet right now. In the goddamned restaurant. You don't get to recommend men anymore. Or restaurants for that matter.
are you comparing glasses to pregnancy
Randomize
