i'm sick of taking my pants off and seeing a look of disappointment on the girls face. i want her to be frigthened
He told me to fart on his lap because the vibrations turned him on
She fucked me because she said I looked like Neil Patrick Harris
Had sex five times today because there was nothing else to do. I had no idea snow days could get even better than when we were kids
Asking the cop for directions wearing a lion mask may not have been my best moment...
Idk. Im in a bed. the walls are wood. There's a deer mount.. im afraid to turn over and see who's next to me but he's violently cuddly.
To give you an idea, there's a group upstairs trying to break down a door with their fists and heads.
Just fat and dog and sweat all over the bed. All night long.
Can you technically cross something off your bucket list if you don't, per say, remember it....?
He came on my pillow pet. That's unacceptable. I hate boys.
I sent a picture of my balls to one of my best friends, so basically it was an average night.
30-degree weather + Metal Cockring Monday = really hard to pee.
There is a dude riding on one of those standing wheel things inside forever 21. Calm down.
I told him that he could either pay the 10 dollars for the box of condoms or I'll make him pay for the diapers.
You ever stub your boner? It happened to me. Just know that drugs and strip poker and a hot tub. I'll Regale you with the story over drinks later.
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