I envy the lives of milf's kids, the little kid grabs her tits and she just laughs and says not now
You know, he picked a really shitty time to stop sleeping with me to pay attention to his girlfriend.
I would not wish his dick upon my worst enemy
I knew you would eventually ask my secret. Pedialite mix drinks. Works wonders.
No more fucking baseball tools. Walk-of-shamed home in only a pinstriped jersey and a Red Sox SnapBack.
Your shoe was in the washing machine. I have it in my pocket. My phone rang before and I answered your shoe. Meet me at the bar in 10.
He did a line of coke off my stomach then flipped me over and smacked my ass. Then, while he was talking dirty to me, he told me he wanted to hire someone to clean my room. And that's when he lost his boner. Life is so hard.
Like if it it's practical for your sexual health I'm allergic to it AKA REGULAR CONDOMS
He told me he wished he could shrink down to a small size so he could live inside my cleavage
So in my DUI class I had to write down 3 people I'd call if I needed to talk and why...they all want to meet you now...
It took me longer to finish the bottle of scotch we bought together on New Years than it did for her to meet a new guy and get engaged
However, you did manage to order seven different drinks while fingering her at the packed bar - it was like watching the pizza men pound the dough in the windows
At this point in job hunting, I'm willing to become a leather daddy if it means some sort of income.
Just for once I'd like my first interaction with a new GP to not be an obvious sex injury.
This Asian instant coffee I found in ur kitchen is like crack. Who knew I could feel my heart beating in my asshole after one cup of this happiness.
Randomize
