just heard the best thing ever: calling people's kids "fuck trophies"
I just went through her cupboards. Eye patch and sword. nowhere near each other. different shelfs.
so he came on my face and then proceeded to say "that was just how i imagined it would happen"
where do you find these guys?
I got spanked with a cardboard tube. Apparently he used to be a percussionist. Who favored marching band tunes. It was weird.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I could tell by the Randy 'Machoman' Savage "hey brother" that you were beyond inebriated
dude you cant keep breaking into my house just to raid my fridge.. especially at 3AM.
Um he just came into the kitchen naked to get her purse or something?
Just curious... Do you still have the cocks bracelet? You know, the one we pass around to whoevers been the biggest slut recently?
I was carrying him baywatch style into my place because he passed out.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Can we play rock paper scissor shot again? I want to black out in 15 minutes or less...
Why are you awake at 6am and liking photos from rando Russian chicks on Instagram?
I went to the obgyn with chipped nail polish.. Somewhere Beyonce was looking down, shaking her head, whispering "Not fierce."
My serious response to your Cathy tattoo inquiry- Do you ever want to get laid by someone not wearing a Blossom style bucket hat? Tattoo accordingly.
EX BOYFRIEND'S TWINS WERE BORN TODAY. THIS CALLS FOR A MARG.
Turns out your granddad is cooler than you. We're taking him on our New year's eve pub crawl instead. Sorry.
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