Sex should be hot, sweaty, messy, and a little painful. At no point should it involve tiny rocks
I'm actually agreeing with glenn beck. What the FUCK was in that margarita?!
He is the Donovan McNabb of stuff up his ass. Tell me that tomorrow. Too high to remember.
he told me that my best friend was "one the most attractive people he's ever seen" and wondered why he didn't get a blow job
Just curious... Do you still have the cocks bracelet? You know, the one we pass around to whoevers been the biggest slut recently?
She hash tagged the word blow job in her text. Tonight's going to be good.
Just woke up and my doorbell is on my nightstand... the fuck?
I wish I could like. Pull my liver out, and put it in the corner of a boxing ring, put a towel and ice on it, rub it's shoulders, and tell it to "get back in there, you got this!".
I just came so hard there were tears. Actual tears.
Fake an illness. Her and her friends are like the female version of guys who wear tapout shirts
You just stood up, raised your glass and said, "I'd like to thank the academy" then fell through a glass table. THAT'S why we cut you off.
She had YOLO tattooed on her ass. Like, one cheek said YO, the other said LO. Even I can't handle that level of hot mess.
Sorry, all I could picture was you jamming your dick into a lemon.
So when did "Are you okay?" translate into "Don't tell me you got fucked by another rando after another rager"?
send nudes
from the living room?
Randomize
