I feel miserable, can't drink that much when I go out
We've been saying that since '98
Just saw my boss eat a banana in three bites.
If i could tip my vagina, i would.
sexting on a treadmill. speed 9.0 beat that slut!
She touched you, you're now contaminated for 48 hours. Please watch out for rashes, hives and STDs as she's known to have all three.
That's like rubbing a penis in my face and not giving it to me.
$5 long island pitchers = roommate pissing on his laptop at 3am.
Tell him I thought his Superman stand on your bed and cum all over your back was quite funny
Just in case you were wondering..... I really did just wave goodbye to you with my penis.
I am going to ride along with a cop tonight so please don't get arrested because that would be super awkward for me.
I'm out of town so we should be golden.
He is asleep with his dick hanging out of my my little pony pajamas. I am required to wake this man up by blowjob
Your sexual fantasies often terrify me but get a pic
it's always good to have a friend that's a hairdresser, a massage therapist, maybe throw in a lawyer just in case, and always have a friend on food stamps
When I woke up next to him on the living room floor, my glasses were broken and it felt like someone rubbed a cactus all over my vag
Okay, so is being determined to have my vagina licked by a woman on Valentine's day an acceptable goal?
We found him. He just came running out of the closet with a bruise on his face saying he has been fighting elves in Narnia for a year.
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