if i were to get pulled over right now, the only thing i would be guilty of is listening to 90's Mariah Carey
no, there's no challenge. I live a humble lifestyle out of virtue.
You wear Armani Exchange.
At the hair cuttery. A father here with his daughter just answered his phone "ken's whorehouse"...Now I remember why I used to pay more for haircuts.
I'm good, just tired from chardonnay and giving hand jobs.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Either I get my picture taken sitting on a fuckin pony, or I'm not coming.
He literally had no idea who I was, so he made me turn around 360 degrees and when he saw my ass, he blurted out my first AND last name.
i mean he wasn't bad looking, but i wouldn't have slept with my professor if i knew everyone would get an A
we turned his baptism video into a drinking game
Now they're talking about doing whiskey shots since they're flipping the turkey over. You might need to drive me home.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
We found him wrapped up in a giant table umbrella in the bathroom.
I vaguely remember Matt shouting something about "GET ON MY LEVEL!" at the bartender before he attempted to order a case of tequila from him.
I woke up on a navy base in a different time zone. I'm never leaving tallahassee again.
You might have been able to redeem yourself had you not referred to grandma as "this bitch".
That explains the hand print on my face. That old lady knows how to throw a punch.
literally 50% of my time being 20 has involved my genitals thus far
He just kept pissing on the couch as we were yelling at him while he repeatedly told us "its going to be okay".
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