I just told this girl who bought a pregnancy test "good luck"
What. The. Fuck. No, you will not spank me.
That wasn't intended for you, my bad.
Sex with him was like teaching a two year old how to work a machine gun
We should have cut you off when you asked the can driver if you could ride in the trunk.
Happy heartbreak day....you got chocolates, I'm eating them/ throwing them out the window at passing couples
true friends will drive 3 hours to come smoke a couple blunts with you on the bridge where your car broke down
It wasn't good. I can tell by the way he fucks me he watched too much porn
I can't tell if I'm getting better at doing my online spanish hw drunk or if my teacher is just grading on creativity. Either way that senoritas gettin an applebees gift card when i graduate.
My kids are NEVER playing in the park more than 2 feet away from me until they are capable of punching an eagle.
I'M SO LONELY THAT I TEXTED THE FRESHMAN
went to their party, left halfway through to fuck a pledge, came back to keep drinking. I think everyone won.
When you leave ur sleepover boy on ur front porch waiting for a cab bc work
We shared a dick. We're practically sisters!
Who put my cat in the fridge?
Best part though was when he wanted to cuddle and I was like, I'm going to go.
Randomize
