just shaved my legs at the gas station bathroom before going to the club. is that too ghetto?
No idea how i never noticed that penis before. I wonder if it works
never. drinking. again.
lets not get ahead of ourselves.
No stds, not pregs, and lost two pounds. I'd call that a successful two years of grad school.
He just sent me a winky face in the middle of setting up a drug deal. You don't do that.
I'm just going to say , cocktail races are not for a Wednesday night maybe not even a Friday type of deal
Ohhh,that's true. Babies are only fun when you're high. Otherwise, they're the worst kind of people.
Dude, they're still mid-coitus. Pretty sure running in to high five my roommate mid-thrust is a mood-breaker.
You sent me a picture of you holding a goat then asked me if I would have day sex
Uhh... I think I meant "Be proud, I'm taking shots before my public speaking test." "Coffee and vodka is not good" and "Also, I'm giving blood drunk."
The least you could do is send me some gibberish so I know you're alive.
Fuhga
Thank you.
We should go, because after those margaritas time is running out on my sobriety clock.
Classic dick move. Breaking up your buddies 3-some by coming into his room and doing the Harlem Shake.
Charles Manson is Getting Married and I stare down at my tits and wonder how I am possibly single.
just drove past - why are you walking towards the shop in your pyjamas?
Can't talk, on a quest for bacon.
Randomize
