I bet he comes in French.
it was like getting a handjob from mrs. butterworth
just heard some guy walking down the street say "butt sex in the sun"
go get him tiger.
My hand is eating my burrito and not saving any for my mouth. TRIPPPPPPPPPPPPPPINN!
he asked if he could put his cape on while he was still inside me.
Im debating on how to word my craigslist post so i dont get arrested...
You get to be the grown up. Leave a ciabatta by his face.
We're walking, taxis are a waste of money that can be spent on alcohol.
It's okay. I've dumbed down my notes over the semester because I knew I wouldn't be up to understanding things come finals.
You are my mentor.
I drank wine out of a protein shake bottle last night. You may want to rethink that statement.
Just had ice cream and a blow job come together in one glorious, defining moment.
Just opened up the freezer to find chocolate penis popsicles. Too hungover for this shit
Not sure. He doesn't know where New York is on a map but he gives an incredible spanking.
Who cares about New York?
I just bought two cartons of ice cream, 5 boxes of mac and cheese and a bridal magazine. Don't judge me.
I don't want to spend an inordinate amount of time with you, I want to have sex with you. Duhhhhhh.
Randomize
