I don't know what you were told but i for sure didn't sleep with any one but steve's couch.
for on dont try to tell me you love me after three weeks of talking, for two if you are going to do that stay away from the song lyrics to a very good country song that you happened to ruin by using it, and for three erase my number im fuckin your sister now
So this snow storm is NOT helpin my masturbation problem
Now that my 6 day bender is behind me, I just realized I might have been the one who took a shit in our mailbox that past few days.
this is not okay. even my mom refers to me as a sorostitute.
She actually pushed her roomie out of the way and said 'You already fucked him it's my turn!'
Woke up with my face in a bowl of cereal. This is tequila's way of saying fuck you.
she is legit wearing a plastic bag around her neck as a necklace. she says it serves two purposes.
I'm not saying Tijuana was a bad idea, I'm saying that we make poor life choices. And Steve was robbed by the police.
Drunk girl in a bikini just tried to bite my face, it's officially spring break
Last night you told me you "were too high" and didn't deserve a hashbrown.
The album on my phone containing gross pictures to send when boys ask for nudes is now substantially larger than my normal photo album. Because I send one every night
I woke up with my shoes still on and my pants around my ankles cause I couldn't get them over my shoes
yea so the plan to relive our college glory days was great and all but ending up in the er with alcohol poisoning was crossing the line
Sustenance and doggy style.. the only two things I need
Randomize
