he was walking around the bar drinking wild turkey and gobbling simultaneously
I have the Lakers game on, but all I can think about is having sex with you. Not sure what you've done here.
I brought up my Bobbly Flay drinking game in the interview. Of course I got the job.
he left his wallet here so lets treat ourselves to a lunch for the lack of penis we both had deal with
THERE WAS A HANDPRINT OF BLOOD ON HIS SHOULDER
DON'T LET IAN EAT HIS PEANUT BUTTER!!!
Just remembered that I poured a whole bottle of tylenol in there. It's chunky. It's deadly.
The guy who bit me so hard two nights ago that I had to put Neosporin on my nipple and the guy in my bed right now are two different people. Help
I found our waiter on grindr, gave him my number, and got him to send a dick pic. Still not getting laid but close enough?
I finally got the glitter off in time to get to the party and bang the bday boy in the bathroom while his girlfriend was lighting the bday cake candles.
I just meant the frequency of your blow jobs on a flow chart wouldn't look too promising
there's people who respect me enough not to bang on my bed and i think that's beautiful
Do you remember the guy that smelled like hot dogs?
Also apparently I made a "cake sandwich"--yeah smashed a massive piece of cake between two slices of bread....fucking tequila
do you think that identical twins have the same size junk? i just want to know your opinion before i find out.
I know you're here! I can hear your phoneeeee. Wake up and do illegal things with me.
Randomize
