The seats are awesome but you see two of each player.
Are you still at the party or did I leave?
First coke bust down the road. Spring is finally here.
Dear sober self: your car keys are in the glove compartment, your car is outside the church. I hope you're reading this from your own bed instead of someone else's.
I made him leave at 3am, he texted me a couple minutes later and said the elevator was broken and he was sleeping in there, but he said I was worth it so I don't feel guilty
proof that my night is going well: I can still open doors
do you know how hard it is to walk a mile drunk on 151 it's hard yards are soft and every girl looks good
in case you were wondering, even a BJ under a blanket on the back of a bus only lifts a 14-hour bus ride to borderline tolerable.
You drunkenly promised dick pics on your way out the door and then never delivered. I don't know how I'll ever be able to trust you again.
Yeah, I mean I'll probably fuck him regardless but I'm trying to be a lady about it.
I'm just impressed that you can puke without losing your gum
I planned out my poor life choices for the weekend.
I'm a stupid stupid woman who is totally going to rock this holiday season dick drunk on that Ginger
Still riding the magical train of drugs so, yeah, Id say I feel great
Happy 20th birthday! I hope you like anxiety and having your debit card declined at McDonald's!
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