If you want to dance with a less than stellar Asian chick, I have just the girl for you.
how hairy? two words: wookie tits
This is the last time I call a hotel to see if you or some random guy paid for the room last night.
If you win this game of words with friends, ill suck you off for 30 minutes. No lie.
I cant last that long. Do i get the rollover minutes?
I'll sleep on the bed... The couch is now designated banging area. Any banging performed outside of that area will be subject to fines of cleaning up stains.
I can't wait. Forget the royal wedding. This is the most anticipated hookup of 2011.
WHY. COME BACK. TRAPPED WITH ROOMMATE AND FALCON. SAVE ME. I HAVE HUMMUS.
Fuck morning classes and our weekday drinking habits.
I'm pretty sure we organized our beer pong teams according to who's been circumsized...
Just bought a breathalyzer and Sharpies, guess who thought of a new drinking game
Is it bad that all my wine bottles have teeth marks in the cork?
to drive Frat boys away, one just needs to cat-call at them. It makes their masculinity weaker, and yours stronger.
Went up to some dude that hit on Laura and told him he has a voice like a grandma. Apparently didnt have muscles or kindness like grandma so can you pick me up at the ER please?
I don't know, we got really drunk and I slapped her with an ear of corn.
Is it sad that my idea of a quality foursome would involve one person eating me out while the other two rub my feet?
Randomize
