There is a man walking 2 goats through the city.
Bonus: only one of them was on a leash.
her teeth looked like a whores toenails, i was too horrified to
I'm not a creep or anything, just a lost soul looking for a good lay
i can recognize that vagina from a mile away
chugging beers on the train. people are staring. I would be offended if it wasn't 8:30
You are too young to settle down enjoy your life. The window to get drunk and have casual sex with strangers gets smaller by the day.
i'm only riding in the trunk because they put the case of beer back here..
It was so cute that he apologized for getting cum on my couch. If he realized how many guys had cum on that couch in the past year, he wouldn't have touched my vagina with a 10-ft pole.
i could've stared at her spine forever man..she was so deep, and she made a drink out of vodka and organic mangoo shit. i will find her and present that goddess with some fucking gummies
you're no longer allowed out of my sight at parties
Okay hun. Well my neighbors haven't called the cops yet so I think we're good. No more burning in the yard.
Its so bad though\nOur relationship has gotten to the point where im posing nude with a swiffer
When you wake up to a porn star on your couch telling you, you better tell your boyfriend about last night.
It was probably the night you were half naked and trying to blow everybody, guy or girl.
this is me we're talking about here. You're going to have to be more specific than that.
He's such a jerk. If only his penis was attached to someone else
I knew she was the one when we had sex to the halo soundtrack.
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