just smash crush and snort whatever we can get our paws on
I knew I fell for you for a reason
What. The. Fuck. No, you will not spank me.
That wasn't intended for you, my bad.
I don't know who the girl crying at my kitchen table eating gravy from the KFC container is, but I feel like she could be my soulmate
If Megan asks I spilled my water water all over her. I pissed on your roommate. You're welcome. I expect you to keep that on the down low. Seriously tell her the water thing
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
last nights episode of shot friends brought to you by polish vodka and flamingo baseball. pickles cure hangovers.
You should never talk to him again. Unless its you knocking on the door and punching his dick.
I think it's awesome that you're getting shower sex advice from a Mormon.
but they dont look like handprints. looks like someone had a boxing match with my tits and my tits lost
How do you respond to a booty call from yesterday?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
yea sometimes its awkward. but when you're a straight bartender at a gay bar and everyone knows it, they all think that they can make me turn gay. its like oh yea dude that extra $20 tip makes me want to suck some dick now
I'm just going to ride dicks all the way to the to the gates of hell
All I need is $1,500, a beach ready body, a bigger dick & this will be the best spring break ever.
It wasn't until I lost my earring that I realized "I've been here before". Turns out we fucked a year ago. We've decided to make it a tradition.
Are these your boobs on my camera?
Bowls and Harry Potter this morning. I guess work isn't so bad after all
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