dude just tell them you don't wear clothes. they'll understand
Do you think people stop being hipsters when they're naked? because that's what my research shows.
dude i dont realllllly have to fuck her do i? its just a mess down there and i think im gonna cry
The old woman next to me on the el smells like cupcakes...but she doesn't taste like cupcakes
I mean come on, he's the best quarterback in the state and doesn't even know how to put on condom
she was home schooled till college. were she learned how to give the most amazing blowjobs is still a mystery.
I think Memorial Day also marks the beginning of "Bikini Profile Picture" season.
The tent neighbors already set us on fire w an errant roach. How do you think Bonnaroo's going?!
He was like a foghorn with a huge penis.
The nurse gave me a funny look when I said I thought I have an std in my throat. Bet she only does it missionary too
Human Centipede: The Drinking Game. This is non-negotiable. First one to pass out the rest of us get to FEEEEED THEM!
She is crazy, dude. She actually bit me on the gootch.
First time since we broke up that I'm not drunk before noon...win for broken hearts everywhere
I cant believe you made me read bad furry sexts
Had to lock my cat in the bathroom so I could masturbate in peace.
Randomize
