the real housewives reunion is on...i wanna see if danielle can look any more surprised than the facelift allows
i wanna see dina punch her face back to normal
Yea went to the bars and he called me 2 hours later with random people saying he is at a place that i don't think exists
If I buy you $300 worth of popeyes, will that make up for me trashing the house?
Cocaine Wednesdays have to stop turning into no work Thursday
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
You just handed me your ATM card and wrote your PIN number on a dollar bill and said "for bail money."
When you passed out on the kitchen counter she brushed and flossed your teeth, then carried/dragged you to bed. Why aren't you married?
Everybody in the immediate area is hooking up like it's doomsday
WHY AM I NOT THERE?
He just had a handle of vodka with ice in it yelling at people hot august night mother fuckaaaaa and was pouring it on his face
You've fucked so many I should get a word bank when you make me guess these things.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
If I die, sorry about rent.
You know you've made it in life when the people in the next stall are cheering on your orgasm
I have no idea what happened last night but I sobered up whilst showering with a mop.
I'm sorry about the fire. I was too fucked up to do science, apparently.
one week and then i'm back on the sexual grind. a party is being planned in my vagina's honor
He woke up and decided to go for a swim in the lake... At about 3am... With his dogs
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