Just saw truck nuts on a handicap conversion van
They want to listen to Lady Gaga while they puke.
imagine if we didn have a dick. we would be so much more productive
I just bedazzled my weight watchers points calculator. You can tell I'm gay.
she was wide awake when they drew a treasure map on her face the she passed out and they played like 7 games of tic tac toe haaa how was your new years
Do you think I can wear the dress I went to jail in with the shoes I went to prom in to the wedding tonight?
It's a sign that no dudes december is about to start: I have a yeast infection.
You really realize what your life's become when you're sitting alone in the house crying in a santa hat and pjs getting stoned on christmas eve before noon.
begin the sex magic rocket ship countdown
Just know I'm having fun but I still have my motor functions.
Best compliment ever: Being told that you really understand sex by a professional. After she gave you a HANDJOB.
This may have to wait till tomorrow. I smoked so my back wouldn't hurt and I overshot relaxed by like 4 hits casually
Do you remember the bathroom attendant when he put out his hand for a tip and you gave him a high five?
I just want to have sex that doesn't end like a B-rated horror movie.
Instead of asking him how many women he's slept with I just got straight to the point and asked how many Plan B pills he's purchased
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