I woke up covered in BBQ sauce. My hand had "you win" written on it. Do I celebrate?
It went from "haha, this will be funny" to "full blown anime porn fetish"
yeah, but the likliness of me finding my husband at a party where the facebook event is titled "NEW YEARS EVE SHIT SHOW" is highly unlikely
coming out of a blackout being surrounded by Disney police was not as awesome as it sounds.
Let's just go topless and paint glitter over our nipples who the fuck cares
When else am I ever going to have a chance to do lines with T-Pain?
She pushed me over. She offered me a shot from her tits. We're good now
We're like adult pinky and the brain when they decided that taking over the world is unrealistic so they aim lower by trying to get drunk every day.
Taking care of a girl who just peed on my floor so tonight is not a good night for sex
if you're the one who put those dollar bills in my bra last night, thank you because I just used that money to get myself a coffee
Life without a bra equals bliss.
I didn't pay $79 for lingerie for you to cum in 30 seconds
That's MADAM THUNDERCUNT to you
Sometimes you wanna cuddle and sometimes you wanna get blown in the bathroom.
His name isnt in my phone as “Satan’s spawn” for no reason. #devildick
Randomize
