You're mentally unstable and I would hate to be you
Just figured out how to smoke weed with a toaster.
Whatever, she only has 293 friends, she cant afford to be defriending me..
And i generally try not to roofie people when I'm in a committed relationship.
He is drunk texting me begging me not to tell my mom. Pretty sure he is about to offer me sexual favors for keeping my mouth shut. I love being the boss's daughter.
He's a navy seal. He can stick it anywhere he wants.
its not thanksgiving till you and grandpa shotgun beers out in the shed, and lose
Finished the final in under ten minutes and then puked in the bushes outside. I don't even care if I graduate anymore.
Pants-less sunday? Also I'm high and independence day is making me cry
im coming over
I want to buy her liposuction. And a spot on What Not To Wear. And a face transplant.
Are you still free tonight?
Oh shit I kinda forgot and took acid
Someone has big plans this weekend. Just went to throw away the trash and saw packaging for 3 different vibrators on the top of the stack
Hey I didn't mean to come across like I was judging you about your liberal sexual choices. I would like details of your threesome if you need to talk about it!
sorry about your sharpie. alex wanted to shave the left side of his body so he had me draw a line over him with a ruler
You know you started drinking too early in the day when you have a hangover at midnight
thats called having FUN
Randomize
