Are you with Adam and his vodka?
Yeswdsssss I masde his pickle gi away ans he go anbnoued
Penelope Cruz needs to learn American words.
Just turned elections for the sorority into a drinking game. Right on.
She told me I had to leave by four. We fucked until six thirty and we are the champions played on the way home. Yeah god knew
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
How many folks do you know who bring coke to a dinner party. Seriously.
there is a strobe light in my taxi. in what way is this safe.
BTW send me your address and size of condoms you wish your lover was-- "if you build it, they will come"
I might have been the first person to be rolling balls at a referee seminar
Like for real, is your junk ok? I have to look after my investments.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I will not be held responsible for my vagina's poor judgment.
I felt like... 50% confused and 50% like a slow roasted flip flop.
It was an all night sausage fest and I was the lady of honor.
the bright side of moving is at least my Tinder options will refresh
So if I run into you on the street, I'm supposed to just stop drop and suck your dick?
Remember when you laughed that I downloaded a “fireplace” station on my Roku? I just woke up butt naked on my couch with my fireplace station playing. So there, guess that shows you. Now excuse me while I go back to sleep in front of my fireplace.
Randomize