Jake just asked if thanksgiving was an american thing...I left the table
Every time she shows up on my newsfeed, I get the taste of tequila in my mouth.
Convinced the domino's pizza delivery person to go to shaws and buy me a bottle of wild turkey. For america.
After all the hair products he's stolen from me, he better fucking be gay.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
What are you talking about?! I shot gunned a monster while simaltaneously blowing gym boy Todd. If I'm not the poster child for being well rounded and versatile I have no idea what NYU is looking for
you got us kicked out of the restaurant for trying to pee in the trash can.
Rehydrating your liver back to life is never a good idea.
I'm the man of the house if we're referring to livers.
If you really loved me, you'd support my weed habit.
As the person who squeezed you out of my vagina, the answer is no.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
You get 5 min
Your time limits don't scare me, I'll include foreplay and redressing in that 5 min. If you wanted to challenge me you should say you got an hour, id be scared then and more creative.
All I know for sure is, I went to bed drunk and I woke up in a relationship..I think I need to reevaluate my drinking skills.
Well in other news, my nipples are healing pretty well but next time I get drunk and decide to pierce something please for the love of god stop me!
I'm having leftover pizza for breakfast. I'm clearly not the greatest at this adult thing.
I'm now using my vagina for good, not evil. Trying to restore balance to the force.
did i get sucker punched in the face last night or was our make-out session just that intense?
Randomize