North Korea, Best Korea!
dear life, i get it, drinking is not a contest
i think our first tip to leave should have been when we saw the drinks were coming out of a gas can
when she asked me if it was possible to swim under north america i knew it was time to leave.
Only in this snowstorm did have I realized the lengths I'll go to to get laid.
I woke up to her staring at me in a corner moaning over and over again about how good the pie crust tasted
Were at her birthday dinner and her dad keeps buying me shots saying when I was your age I fucked the shit outta girls
Hahahahahaha remind him your dating his daughter
It's just one of those nights that , as long as you have the drugs, everything is going to be alright.
He said I was the "egg mcmuffin" of blowjobs. I'm flattered.
I woke up on your bathroom floor, i used your towel I found laying on the floor as a cape to get to your bed. I thought it would help me walk straight if I looked like a superhero
Who the fuck superglued glowsticks to my arm.
I moved out... There's nothing left but his childhood trophies...
You should make him a new one, you know like "you suck at relationships but thanks for trying participation award"
I found out that rock climbing and alcohol does not go together. Ask my broken arm.
Your Vodka Saturday privileges have been reduced to Beer until you go a full month without losing an article of clothing.
You've got the chocolate, drugs and my pants. You hold all the cards...
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