I have glitter on my penis. Do you know anything about this?
it's just like freshman year of high school, with more drugs
worse. her friends hid in the bathroom while she gave me head and then screamed surprise right as i was about to cum
My nipple ring got caught on the rug again. Tequila makes me unlearn these things
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I feel like my nipples were chewed on by alligators.
also Jesus you really need to change your diet. I just washed your baby gravy out of my hair and it's so acidic my hair is damaged. You have killer sperm
I'm gonna have to get you a special blowjob bib -- like a lobster bib -- but instead of a picture of a little red lobster, it will have a picture of a penis, with 3 big squirts coming out.
i woke up in just my socks. my clothes were outside, he had rugburn on his elbows, and a window was broken.
So you told me to remind you that you vomited 3 times in the street because you would forget so here is your reminder
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Just FYI, by the transitive property my breasts have now touched the Stanley Cup.
The woman in the flower onesie is claiming she hasn't been drinking.
A seagull just tried to steal my cellphone
Just cropdusted a little kid that wouldn't get out of my way in Kroger. Welcome to the real world bitch.
can we not compare my dick to a children’s folk tale
Did you happen to find my bra? I'm pretty sure I still had it on before we left that bar
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