i just took a sip of diet coke and i said " as soon as it hits my lips i wanna smoke a cig." then i thought of your dick.
everytime someone famous vagina shows up in pics, i have to go check my own vagina to make sure mine dont look all wrinkledy and flabby like that....i want my lips plump and succulent
I just rolled a spliff on a dora the explorer tv tray. Preschool education meet afterschool special.
Dude, it's gettin so bad even my fantasies just wanna be friends.
No more tipping the bathroom attendant with your phone.
I'm sorry for throwing the cheese everywhere, but it wasn't my fault. No one was enforcing disipline so not really my fault for not behaving
you called her butter tits and then threw up in your cup. i dont know if theres any way to come back from that
I just banged your sister. Thats what you get for takibg my lunch money in 2 grade, boom, boom fiyyaa powaa
Hey so when you left last night was i wearing shoes?
You texted me a picture of your face along with #help
I don't want to be "that guy" but I may have accidentally sent a dick pic to your mom
On a scale from 1 to 10 how gross is it to get a chili dog from a vending machine?
He stopped mid sex to say he was sorry that he couldn't make us work.continued. Stopped again to ask if it was crazy that he loved me.
That is not what no strings attached sex is about.
Woke up this morning to him making out with me in his sleep, then I had to go on a scavenger hunt to find a used condom before my roommate got back... it was under my pillow.
My hairdresser won’t do keratin treatments because of the toxins, but will put ecstasy up her butt at festivals...
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