becoming an adult blows. i don't think its possible for me to wake up for anything that doesn't involve kegs and eggs or half naked bums passed out in our yard.
Went to use to bathroom and walked in on karaoke. Two girls singing "a whole new world" to each other in the shower. I'm gonna miss this place in the summer
I woke up spooning my guard tube. Tell me I'm not the most dedicated lifeguard ever
Can you give me a hickey quick? Im going to a white trash themed party. Completely serious
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Mission get my tooth back and find a new dick to ride starts after i sleep for the first time in 2 days.
Dude he's the best wing man ever. He starts creepin' on a woman, and she clings on to you out of fear.
I had to explain to the waiter that I'm not the DD because I can't drive, but as the Designated 'Make Sure No One Gets Roofied Or Hit By A Car On The Walk Home'-er, I should still get the free drinks.
I told my mom about how you got white girl wasted and sobbed about Whitney Houston. She sends her condolences.
tell her thanks so much
Out of desperation, I used the leftover sauce from my goat masala as a mixer for vodka shots.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
the manly guy you want to date so badly? he's at the club. as a drag queen. wearing higher heels than you own. think about that.
GOD DAMMIT TARYN WHY DO WE ALWAYS HAVE TO ROB PLACES IN OUR FUTURE PLANS?!
Found this cake smashed up inside a box on the sidewalk. Im saying yes to adventure and eating some.
Taking a nap. Sidewalk cake kicked my ass. It had boston creme filling!
“before I show up tits a blazing, what’s the sexual temperature here?“
That has got to be a joke. No human eats that much grass and lives to tell the tale.
Who brings a stripper to breakfast at the dining hall? What was the plan? Impress her with his meal plan?
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