I woke up with ten beers in my bag that hoarded at the party last night. Rally? Its five somewhere.
What is wrong with this kid? He'll take ecstasy but won't take dayquil?
What's the protocol on showing a video of me sucking the life out of my ex in order to prove beyond a doubt that I give great head???
I blacked out the second time 3am rolled around. My brain was taking a beating trying to do that math.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Ya well my good-girl image was pretty much blown when he found out I'm going to jail soon.
Ok so I could say "im sorry"...but instead ill just say "unsupervised...jager...military guys...green school bus called the juice box...and HUGE dick"
I mean, I know going to rehab probably didn't make her a lesbian, but I can always hope
Dude...that line about her giving me a blowjob to get rid of her hangover actually got rid of her hangover. Spread the word.
Dude you took some guys glasses off his face and ran out of the bar
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I ate shit on a rock, and when I got up this car full of people asked me if I was okay, and I just sprinted away screaming "I am a banana!"
does doing it on an automatic sink count as shower sex?
I never actually go in the club. I get in line, hit on a chick, and convince her to come drink all she wants for free at my house.
Naked chocolate chip pancake making. I just spilled mix all over the place. My boobs are covered in flour. This is not going well.
So anyway, I'm just floating along life with my vibrator and low expectations.
Your youporn search history says otherwise.
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