The pink midgets playing hockey is the EXACT reason cold meds and alcohol do not mix. Period.
I have now ridden the bus with a ninja, a samurai and Jesus. Who says the bus is for losers.
MTV running anti-sexting commercials is a slap in the face to everything our generation has accomplished.
He was in a gay KY jelly commercial. Jew male model. Reasons not to sleep with him. Go.
I took the precaution of putting my macbook the one place in the dorm there is no way i can piss on it... the toilet
That was the gentlest I've ever been bitten in the face by a dog
That's not a good night. A good night is waking up with no skirt, no money, and the imprint of the edge of the bar on your forehead.
Yeah he got kind of mad when he found out he had chased his last two shots with a combination of orange soda, water, and used mouth wash.
he's the second guy to suck on my nipple in front of my friends that i haven't made out with.
So, I'm a little drunk in Seattle with Glenna, but we've all agreed that it's patriotic to think about Bill Clinton from time to time during sex. 'Merica
I was looking at the storm clouds during my run and one oddly resembled ur penis
I sent him a tex saying, "I thought my intentions were clear" drunk me has some balls.
I just remembered something. We made out last night, people cheered.
Idk what's worse.... Yesterday not waking up in my bed or today waking up in the hello kitty gown.
How did you get so drunk?
Alcohol.
Randomize
