Fuck. sleeping in my sisters room again I heard zombie noises outside my window
dude i dont realllllly have to fuck her do i? its just a mess down there and i think im gonna cry
he kind of looks like leonardo dicaprio...in whats eating gilbert grape
wtf, did you fuck a retard?!
Tried to buy Xanax from my boss last night. Wrong Mike.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
did anyone else see me puking into my coat sleeve?
Whoever brought the pigeon, please come and remove it from my living room.
I just wrote "where Jason is" on the screen. He guessed "hospital" correctly.
I woke up at 5:47 in the morning to you peeing on my parents bedroom floor. I think we've established that you have a limit .
Hey man, I found your crocs and your visor in the road. Got em for you.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'm pretty sure I'm the first person in the history of this college to rollerblade their walk of shame.
I plan on having so much gay sex in our house while you gone.
My life is a clusterfuck of men and disorderly priorities right meow.
Lesson learned:nothing good comes from an at home wax kit.
I can't hang out tomorrow. A boy wants to feed me ice cream and touch my boobs. Priorities.
I mean, if there was a version of you with a penis, you'd fuck it...right? Like just outta curiosity at least
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