Can i not drive my cunt home
Her cooch smelled like a combination of bacon and sweat.
Want any specific kind of beer?
Yeah. Alcohol flavor.
Got it. Anything but Miller.
You found Muppets From Space a little too intense, so you just sorta sat on the ground and stared at the wall plug for an hour and a half.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Harry Potter. Singing. Sobering up. In that order.
No flamethrowers. That is a direct order.
Dude, the coffee is horrible this morning, Cass changed something about it
We ran out of Bailey's Irish cream...
This is what regular coffee tastes like?!?! Fuck the adult life.
Never in my life did I think i would give a blow job in the bathroom of my old elementary school. Twice.
Nothing like sunday church bells to aid your walk to the pharmacy to get plan b
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Dude \nSo embarrassed \nJust sent a snap to my boss john and noticed my vibrator was right beside me
I melted cheese on my pizza rolls. When I die make sure someone melts cheese on my rolls.
should i feel bad about fucking you on my front lawn the day before you set me up with your best friend?
He was my first marine! I wanna remember his name!
I sharted in court today and had to sit on it for about three and a half hours.
Is it acceptable to respond to a declaration of love with 'and I love your dick'? Asking for a friend who shares a name and possibly a phone number with me. Entirely coincidental.
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