I don't believe in a God but I'm almost positive I just shit out the devil.
some girl that im facebook friends with has H1N1, im scared to even go to her facebook page
oh fat girl friday strikes again...
I'm pregaming for my hair cut. Working two jobs definately taught me how to use my time wisely...
like he said he was barking at you while cumming in your face
Went to the strip club with my aunt. Do you know how hard it is to be a pervert in front of your female family members?
She kept telling people I wrecked her brain. That high.
They flooded the bathroom and their version of cleaning it up was to throw our couch cushions on it. That's when I decided to chug tequila and go drunk bowling. So hitting the kid with my ball is really their fault.
Just rolled up a joint with a cop standing right beside me. He just told us to not leave behind any garbage or empties. God I love canadian camping
He saw one of my bras on the floor and said "damn you could eat soup out of this"
Duuuude someone spilled hot sauce all over the floor and trailing outside wtf
OH GOD IT'S BLOOD. THIS IS ALOT OF BLOOD.
He got punched in the face last night? By who? I’ll invite him to our formal. Seriously.
My mom just looked at me and said; "You've been pretty bitchy lately do you need some dick?" WTF has happened to me?
Normal people find beers in their gym bag, right?
I had to pee so bad that I snuck into the bathroom while they were in the shower. At her request, he was massaging her boobs so they could grow faster. Also there was a laser light machine.
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