just saw ex-bf. should he be more embarrassed to be a college dropout working at rite aid or should i be because i was buying newports and rembrant?
tie
i have no idea who im with but someones making meatballs. im going to stay.
She was wasted. Kept yelling "what if I'm pregnant" and trying to push me into the tree. First and last time I bring a girl to my family christmas party.
Apparently everytime he put me down to bed I escaped out the window, I faintly recall climbing into the canoe in the back yard, and air paddling.
I fucked her and then she made me sleep on the floor next to her bed because she 'has a committment problem'
What can I say, I bounce back quick. Never thought the line "my turtle died" would get me so many free drinks last night
He's basically me if I was an 8-yr-old boy. It's like looking into a pudgy terrifying mirror
If you've ever wanted to get filthy in a Catholic church before 2 on a Wednesday, I might be your guy.
your fridge is broken, your sock drawer is full of snow, and you flipped off the whole stadium on the big screen. I'd say it went well.
I am naked in a blanket sprawled on my bed eating a pastry. This is all I want out of life. Ever.
I rammed pretzels and Jell-O shots down the throats of those I loved.
I spent $31 at mcdonalds last night. Threw my nuggets all over the yard, ate them out of the snow, picked a fight about it, vomited, then passed out.
Naked.
the people next to us at the red light cheered for you while you puked out the window...
Are you the reason I woke up without pants?
how is it I left wearing underwear then ended up with none? and why is it they are on you?
Randomize
