I'm convinced her vagina is similar to chernobyl, but I want to visit it for the novelty value anyway.
we made a giant pot of alcholic jello. i filled a gallon bag and brought it to dorms. desk guy gave me weird looks, he doesnt realize this is how i will pass all of my room searches
Her underwear doesnt even match. If youre going to be a face book whore at least have matching shit.
theres so much semen in my vacuum cleaner...
I don't care if the man pisses on teenage girls, he's enchanting.
She's the worst person, but the best naked person
My chin is breaking out a bit and feels all itchy and burny like I'm allergic to something. Are you using a new lotion on your balls?
DOGS JUST TOTALLY ATE THE FEATHERS OFF MY NIPPLE CLAMPS!!!
I had an epiphany. If a dude dressed up as Batman to ask me out, I'd prolly marry him.
Well yeah. Plus. My dick looks awful. So I would need to do some extreme makeover dick edition before even starting something so ridiculous.
You are not the cause of late onset lesbianism.
For some reason she gave me a handjob. It was all very confusing
I told you naked hot tub wrestling would turn bad now one of us has a gash on the head and another a black eye
There's something empowering about being at dinner and sitting across the table from two men you've blown.
21st birthday weekend in Vegas has concluded and all I'm missing is my underwear and 'Contacts' icon on my phone home screen.
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