He didn't know it yet but he was about to go down on me.
This lady in my dui class just asked what patron was. I feel like she doesn't belong here
Is 10 pm too early to booty call a freshman?
No she had like 2 shots and started ironing her clothes and whispering random shit in my ear
I brought him to this party even though we're not together anymore because we made a bet on who would have sex first, and it is a sausage fest up in here.
I kept reassuring him that I was easy like Sunday morning, not easy like "I've had 6 shots of tequila and haven't had sex in three months"
I got a dollar bill stuffed into my bra on two separate occasions by two separate guys simply for having boobs. I feel like somewhere god is patting himself on te back while pointing at me goin "you're welcome dude." easiest two bucks I ever made.
I find it very uncomfortable that I need to ask you to stop sending me pictures of your stomach
It was so weird. She left to go to the bathroom and her older sister leaned towards me with a creepy smile and said, "You don't deserve her" and then continued to stare at me with a crazy expression for the rest of the evening.
That's kinky shit dude.
they have a video of him in his boxers making a snow angel in the hallway is his own vomit and coca cola.
It's awesome, he has so much more free time now that he's not screwing other girls behind my back
If that's all it takes to cure your hangovers then you need to drink more.
I'm glad our friendship can withstand laughing mid-blowjob during the diarrhea scene in Dumb & Dumber.
He was going down on me and all I could think about was how proud of me you'd be
we're so committed to being not committed
Randomize
