im going to forcibly insert an angry corn snake into his urethra
sometimes I tug on my anal hairs for pleasure
you've officially gone too far. we are no longer friends
woke up with 15 BAGS of hot dog buns in my passenger seat... jameson strikes again
Do I buy ice cream sandwiches or a 40? these are the difficult life decisions I am faced with.
Funny favor to ask you... can you ask James to ask Chris if he came in me ? Trying to assess whether or not I need plan B.
I just googled if crying burns calories
I fell asleep to him stroking my ass calling it his precious.
You know when the three of us hug it out in the alcohol isle in walmart it's gonna be fun.
i think maybe i'll just not watch it. i'd rather not think of you as a magical transforming set of dick holes.
Did I mention I should never take 5 Xanax and drink?
I sort of figured that out when I found you sitting on the roof of your house saying we could get in through the skylight while I called the locksmith.
I will no longer accept being cock blocked in my own bed.
He crawled over to me grabbed my boob asked me if I liked cats and then passed out. If that's really my RA, it's gonna be a long year
You were, but he disappeared after you said you wanted him to get you pregnant so you'd have a child by the time the Boy Meets World sequel starts
I just got a free round of shots. Don't you DARE fuckin tell me that A-cup boobs can't get you good things.
Why do I know about what dicks have been in your mouth but didn't know you had a dog? What kind of friends are we??
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