Please stop trying to convince people that you're retarded and I suck your dick in the same conversation.
if you take his cock out, you have to give him a bj. it's like giving a moose a muffin.
my head feels like I tried to put alcohol out of business last night
We tried having a conversation with our noses.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
i had to apologize to my friends for being friends with me
It's alarming how good I'm getting at being productive at work on Thursday after Johnny Walker Wednesdays.
Just had a flashback of you announcing "your nipples aren't that big for the size of your boobs, I've seen them"
Honey, I don't care how "classic you" this is. It's not gonna matter if we can't find you in the morning.
if things do not go as planned you should see me walking down I81 blindfolded and pantless
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Just had a horrible realization. I've fucked a guy with a webbed foot AND a guy with a third nipple.
I saw a kitty kat get finger blasted on the couch by a Bulls player
Id prob hit it, but i instagram edited her picture to make her look better. Ha. She should fuck me just for that.
He's standing in the corner rubbing his nipples and reflecting on poor life choices
Not sure when or why this happened but I just stopped giving a shit about everything
I just peed on myself the semester has officially began.
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