fyi, i just bought my first strap-on. the little mermaid theme song was playing in the background.
this may or may not be the weed talking, but this is by far the best tasting toothpaste i've ever had
did you know delaware is a STATE? HOLY CRAP! i didn't till i was hitting on this chick and asked her when she said she was from delaware, which state that was in. crazyness
I'm hiding behind a bush in mens clothing next to a ducks crossing sign. There are joggers. Please hurry.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I know the scar will be in an obvious place, that's why I'm certain it'll score me cancer blowjobs
Why wouldn't u just let me ride the washing machine
I wish I could remember her name, I mean we fucked and all, but it woulda been nice to tag her in the instagram pics.
Does Jim keep sending you pics of him in drag too???? If so, are you also slightly uncomfortable?
You know, you have a good excuse now if you have a poor performance. Just say "what do you expect? I took a paintball to the DICK!!"
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I went limp when I heard her mom fart from her parents bedroom. It lasted longer than my hard on.
I have a half pound of weed, a case of beer, 8 frozen pizzas and a hard dick. You have a high tech super-bong and a chest of sex toys. That's our vacation week right there.
If you get that boat I will recruit some boat hoes for you and tape a video and sync it to I'm On A Boat. This is happening.
Okay, tomorrow we'll have a day of life-sorting and plasma-selling.
and then you two started interpretive dancing to Mozart
How did you end up breaking into that laundromat at 3am? I saw the snapchat but like..... How?
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