just tell him i said nine months
The smartest thing I've heard Obama do is call Kayne West a jackass
hahaha he is wasted in math class right now and is drawing all the planets in order from the sun
Judging by what's in the bathroom right now, I see you graced us with your presence last night.
He told me to fuck off at some point in the night. I think it was right before he jumped out of a moving car trying to get to another bar and made Abby cry.
The moment you realize you should grow up: you're snorting your fathers percocet script with your old health insurance card, while your parents are on a 10 day cruise in the carribean...
Just to prove a point, she called and ordered a pizza 10 min before she ordered the blow and it still got here first. I may never leave LA.
I told you!!! And that is why he's the drug dealer to the stars.
Boob shaped ice luge is ordered for my bday. Boom
I can't even drink.
The liquor comes out the nipples. Out. The. Nipples.
It's like rock paper scissors. Cold showers and smoking beat hangovers.
I can't believe you didn't come out. There was a duckling ON THE BAR!
Ive already seen two fights and a clown urinating in the middle of the street. Hello Halloween 2014.
I have this vague feeling that I was involved in a dance off with a homeless man?
You should feel special! You're also the only person I've ever punched during sex
I know you just got bad medical news... But want some moonshine?
Don't come back. They don't have pants.
Oh god.
God has nothing to do with this.
Randomize
