hey can i ask you a kinda weird question?
i know what the question is. yes they are bigger, and no i did not get plastic surgery
our school mascot just walked into class and threw condoms everywhere. welcome to college
The preggo girl brought her pet chipmunk to class today. fyi.
Dude, we took our shirts off and set our chest hair on fire. That's a low point.
You raise a valid concern
Her bed looked like it had just hosted a water balloon fight. It was that good.
Advice for you. Never grate cheese on your counter then not cleanup the scraps, then have your bf over and endup having sex on the counter. Theres literally cheese melted in and around my ass.
Best part of Friday afternoon drinking? Having ping pong balls thrown into my cleavage.
some how during sex we caught an ENTIRE pillow on fire. A WHOLE PILLOW.
Let us ponder on the good times. Ya know when the Jonas brothers were incapable of growing facial hair and I didn't fully understand what a dick looks like
And the view of you in reverse cowgirl is arguably the most spectacular view ever... And I've seen the Eiffle tower, the colosseum, mountains of Hawaii, Michaelangelo's David, and the Mona Goddamn Lisa. Just saying.
I woke to him laying in the floor puking in a shoe. So I guess we had a good night.
i tried to break up pigeon sex because one looked too young to consent. fireball feminism ftw
I learned a valuable lesson about combining day drinking with malt liquor: you may think you have super powers, but that's just the Steel Reserve talking.
I slept with my wedding DJ..... I think this means my life has come full circle
I'd say I was is in rare form last night but it's becoming pretty common.
Randomize
